Recently on “hold off, Is This a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle CEO and
L Term
specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. That is right! This event is about lesbian interconnectivity â connecting with pals’ exes, pals hooking up with your exes, therefore the society developed by all that drama.
Appear when it comes to news, stay when it comes to emotional handling. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t normally.)
Many thanks for the nice opinions after our very own premier! If you haven’t however give consideration to giving us a rating or test!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese make an
Old Hollywood chart
this is the intersection of my personal interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the article
We reference where I mention starting up using my roommates.
+ My crush associated with few days Mj Rodriguez revealed a music video on her track
“Something to Say”
!
+ As anyone who has just seen a few episodes of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush of few days C.C. Babcock was actually stunning for me whenever it turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally however are.)
Drew:
I’d be really good with it present. I would never include someone else without their unique authorization. However the concept of everytime some body had been like, “Confirm that you happen to be connected with me,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it is the life I lived. I really don’t worry about.” Usually weird? Is the fact that a challenge?
Christina:
No, because if I happened to ben’t, I would personally feel poor not-being. I’d end up like, “hold off, I’m not sleeping?”
Theme track plays
Drew:
Hi, I Am Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And introducing
Wait, Is It A Night Out Together?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is It A Romantic Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast asking the big concerns. First, is it a night out together? Just what are dates? Who will be times? Will we like dates? They are the types of questions that individuals answer with this here incredibly expert and beautiful podcast.
Drew:
I am Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
My name is Christina Tucker. I am in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer online. Im recovering at describing myself personally as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That is all of us. Which is just who the audience is.
Drew:
Yeah. And thus our very own primary topic recently could be the Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it needed a sting. I am not sure. That believed really dramatic, but i believe it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, please. Thank you so much, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The perfect amount of drama.
Christina:
Thank you so much.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re talking about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I adore that phrase given that it seems like you need to resume the lesbians. It sounds like net connection actually operating.
Drew:
Yes. it is rather advanced level, really advanced, and has existed since there has been lesbians, i do believe.
Christina:
Yeah. In my opinion scholars will say once they found one lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside ones carved inside sand. And I think that’s just what that film means, correct? It is more about the information? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it’s about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
was about cavern females. I would enjoy that lesbian motion picture.
Christina:
Well, as I have not observed it, i’ll bravely point out that it was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like we now have many lesbian duration pieces, but we have never ever gone back that much. And I think it’s the perfect time we carry out.
Christina:
Let us merely keep using it more back in its history.
Drew:
Before we get to the main subject, you are nonetheless learning you. And I also believed it will be enjoyable to experience a game title where you men could actually get to know Christina. Therefore the icebreaker for this week is actually somewhat video game that I name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I will be, again, very stressed relating to this. This may you should be how i-come in to the game. This could be my personal online game mentality, a tiny bit high key, only a little stressed. That is ok. We’re all understanding.
Drew:
I believe which is fantastic. I do believe that can make you more susceptible, possibly.
Christina:
Certainly the best thoughts.
Drew:
Only a horror, simply a severe terror. So the way that “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i will describe a situation. Let’s call it Christina fan fiction. And that I’m going to pause after each and every little area to be similar, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure you have never lived with somebody, do not want to accept somebody. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I will often state yes or we’ll say, “I’m prepared.”
Drew:
If you don’t â well, we will see right here. But I’m excited. In my opinion I’ve maybe cracked the rule.
Christina:
You cracked the rule? I am excited.
Drew:
Let’s see how long this takes. If in case you won’t ever would, i do believe you win? I’m not sure just how there are winners right here.
Christina:
I don’t know that we now have winners in the video game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I’m not sure if you’ll agree with that next. Thus I’m getting heading.
Christina:
Reasonable adequate.
Drew:
Okay. Therefore, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at the pal’s wedding ceremony. In spite of the plethora of romcoms you absorbed, you probably did maybe not choose this wedding ceremony thinking you’d meet anybody because, well, this isn’t a romcom. Here is the genuine and regular lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You take the designated chair and so are glancing at the phone as soon as you recognize a female at your table is wanting at you. She presents herself since your buddy’s previous baby sitter. She is remained a pal of household, but she doesn’t really know any individual there. She appears to be mid-forties features a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to provide a glass or two. When she stacks up, you realize she actually is six legs tall, 6â² 3â³ in heels. So that you understand what? I am merely gonna hold on there and stay love, now, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m intrigued. I’m fascinated because i would get set during that wedding. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That is entirely fair. Entirely fair. Okay. So you spend the entire wedding ceremony observing each other. Absolutely merely an immediate spark and immediate chemistry. And yes, you do connect as well as the gender is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
Therefore this marriage was in Northern California. And so you both extend the stays for three times to bang and explore and eat at restaurants and screw. And also you offer to separate the cost of the now shared area, but she laughs you off and is similar, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” And so the next 3 days tend to be magic. You really feel the walls tumbling straight down. You’re dropping faster than you ever have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Therefore just for clarity’s benefit, I’m having difficulty imagining a world by which I got three surprise days off of try to hang out with you I do maybe not know. That seems bonkers. However, if I did, good for myself. But I’m not really U-Hauling during this period. It will be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is fine. You merely came across. I get it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thanks a whole lot.
Drew:
So she returns to New York while come back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That is where I reside.
Drew:
And you are texting always. This is where you live which is where this girl life. And you’re texting always therefore see each other several times a month. She’s extremely busy together job, but she actually is fast to get you a train citation so you can come see the lady and remain at the woman beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. And 6 months pass. And another evening when you’re out over dinner, she asks you to relocate with her. Would U-Haul?
Go to: /black-gay-chat.html
Christina:
And go on to Ny? I do not really love New York. No, I am not transferring in the six months mark. I am not performing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep matchmaking long distance. She realizes that needed time and she is prepared to loose time waiting for you. Even more months move. It really is today already been over a year. Your own property manager tells you that they are offering your house to a developer that is putting in apartments, you cannot renew it. You should get a hold of a fresh destination. The today girlfriend tells you that no pressure, but the woman present still stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for a few reasons.
Drew:
Yay! Ok. Kindly inform us.
Christina:
Mostly, in a world wherein my property owner offered my house to produce it, my property manager is now my personal closest friend, in order for seems like one thing has gone wrong within friendship. And I might want to only keep Philadelphia in any event. If in case I get to move in using my girlfriend over here, that appears fine. That’s okay. Totally fine. But yeah, i believe i would need an external power like a mean property owner.
Drew:
That’s thus â ok. I did so think that you’d want to need property attain there, thus I’m grateful I knew that.
Christina:
Yeah. That is just what has got to accidentally myself 1st.
Drew:
Well, i am pleased to understand what it takes. So theoretically, if you weren’t kicked away, how much more hours?
Christina:
Seriously, which could have gone on for a long time. Philly and ny commonly actually that definately not both. I got space over here. We are moving forward and backward. We are having happy times. I possibly could have allow that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst individual i understand.
Drew:
I did not know that Shoshana possessed your own home. Really, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, which was exciting.
Drew:
Well, thank you for playing.
Christina:
I’m pressured, are clear.
Drew:
And I also’m grateful that I know⦠Maybe if you’re ever before, therefore if anyone’s ever internet dating you and wants you to move in, possibly your own gf informed Shoshana to offer the home with regard to your connection.
Christina:
Truthfully the quickest means â some body would simply have to talk to Shoshana and be similar, “merely kick their out.” Right after which she’d wind up as, “Yeah, yes. However.” That will be the way it took place, no matter if she did not sell your house. Some body would just be like, “Can you only kick the girl away very she’ll just overcome it and relocate beside me?” And she would say yes. A hundred percent she’d do this. That is what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I really like that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s actually beautiful.
Drew:
Well, I feel like we discovered alot about you.
Christina:
Cheers. I’m like I discovered a whole lot about myself personally, as well. Threat of homelessness is actually the matter that helps to keep myself relocating any scenario, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that is great.
Christina:
That has been actually exciting. I am just as happy to maneuver into all of our main part because I think making reference to lesbian connection with this guest, using this special visitor, In my opinion it will be amazing, Drew. Exactly how could you be feeling?
Drew:
I’m therefore excited. That is specialized. And also by that, What i’m saying is an
L Term
expert, but some a specialist inside the subject available.
Christina:
I do believe a few things tends to be real, my good friend. I believe two things is generally correct certainly. Will we wish present our very own guest or can we wish all of our visitor to introduce by themselves?
Drew:
I’d love our guest introducing by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I’ll say that all of our guest is the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. And is weird are the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, truly.
Riese:
I experienced never to say everything. I did not also take action. I did state things. I got to sit down right here calmly.
Christina:
And you were really daring. As well as your confronts had been appreciated.
Riese:
Thanks such.
Christina:
Though this is exactly demonstrably an audio average, i would like our listeners to understand that Riese was actually producing some great reaction confronts during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
Absolutely numerous ways as heard. You-know-what after all? That’s what I always state. Im the President of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. And that’s me personally. We have a dog called Carol. And I have actually outdated people.
Christina:
Congrats on the kickball!
Riese:
Thank you. I’ve been a part of folks.
Christina:
Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to take for this, this here online dating podcast. That is really good.
Riese:
Yeah. I do believe that⦠will there be other things?
Drew:
No, i do believe which is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
What you may wish discuss.
Riese:
I like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You Are Sure That an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It’s like as soon as you hit. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be terrible, therefore I simply just evacuated all of them from my brain.
Riese:
Yeah. That is certainly all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, we right away looked at you for this subject.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because first of all, certainly, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian area were like, I’m not sure, having sexual intercourse with individuals just who their friends have experienced sex with since well before
The L Word
was previously a set. But i really do feel like
The L Keyword
solidified a particular cultural thought of the data with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you would have most understanding of this subject.
Riese:
It’s genuine. Two of the experts, I want to say, of
The L Word
had this genuine information of these as well as their friends these people were attracting throughout the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, was actually one of these. She talked to united states regarding it, which they had developed this. Because clearly, everyone else because author’s area had banged people from inside the journalist â you know, as well as the extensive web of these generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And so they saw can these were like, “Why don’t we put it in program.” Plus some of these are on the chart. Like, one particular just who ⦠like, real folks are from the chart as a joke.
Christina:
That is amazing. That’s the method that you know you’ve made it.
Riese:
Isn’t that cute?
Christina:
That will be exciting for my situation.
Riese:
And so for those who haven’t viewed
The L Term,
to start with, congrats. Secondly, it becomes the centerpiece of a single of our lead fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got everything over her wall surface. Plus it is the title of a web page which they began called ourchart.com that flopped. Together with idea ⦠and it is from inside the pilot, i do believe. Into the 1st event, Alice begins referring to how every person’s connected, because everybody’s hooked up because of this person. And that I can link you, as you’re probably a maximum of two degrees from me personally. And therefore was actually real. Like, despite having Dana, that has not a lot of knowledge because she ended up being a closeted playing tennis member, they still were able to link the girl. And that’s real world because it’s true.
Christina:
That’s society. Yeah. That is what society seems like.
Riese:
That is society. Which is queer culture right there. And today everyone else helps make their maps.
Christina:
Yeah. To make sure that would definitely be my personal after that question, was actually have either people made a chart? Because I really don’t imagine i’ve, and I am kind of now considering like, what was this last year sitting within my household for basically didn’t generate a chart? Like, that was the point of that, truly?
Riese:
I believe I’ve done it within my log, just like like ⦠Because i prefer, I’m not sure, arranging information, i suppose, as a thought exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that is in addition why I am astonished that I haven’t accomplished it. I like the notion of categorizing things.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Because it’s fascinating. I am not sure precisely why it really is thus fascinating, but it is. Its fascinating is like, wow, a few of these folks, they truly are linked. It is crazy.
Drew:
From the show, once ourchart.com is conceived, obtained an actual data that individuals can also add stuff. And I feel something that you joked when it comes to on
To L and Back,
and from now on men and women state on a regular basis is a lot like, if this existed in a real way, no-one would put their names onto it, no-one would feel at ease putting their particular labels upon it.
Riese:
You’ll.
Drew:
I’d. I would personally end up being extremely fine with-it existing. I might never ever include some other person without their own permission. Although concept of want, each and every time somebody was actually like, “make sure you will be connected to myself,” I’d be like, “Yeah, it’s the existence I resided. Really don’t worry about.” Is the fact that odd? Would be that problems?
Christina:
No, because if I wasn’t, i might feel poor not being ⦠i’d wind up as, “Wait, I’m not on it? Like, i am sorry, exactly what?” No, that would in fact deliver me into a light moral stress about who i will be as individuals, the things I’m performing. Was we interesting? Perform folks {like